I'm way more happy than you

I am in an eternal state of bliss! In other words, I am SO happy! I bet you're not as happy as me. There's no way you could be. And the people who I USED to hang out with should know, they could never make me as happy as the people I hang out with now! You should feel inadequate about your ability to make people feel THIS happy. You may have made me chuckle a little, but the NEW people are so much better. They make me feel actual happiness. Work on your happy-making skills. And try to be as happy as me. It'll be hard. You probably won't be able to be as happy as I am right now since I don't have to rely on your shoddy happy-makingness anymore since now they are people who are happy to make happy me, who is happy. Wait, not even happy. Blissful. (note: This is a joke. I'm just joking around. I'm being satirical. My old friends are good, too.)